Friday, December 17

The Lord used the following quote to hit me upside the head last night.

“Our work isn’t to change the way these people live. It’s not to fight against a pagan idol anymore than it’s for Atretes (me, Lauren) to try to beat into their heads a belief in Christ. Our work is to devote our own lives to pleasing God. It’s that simple. We’re to devote our efforts to learning to think as God thinks, to see ourselves and others through his eyes, to walk as he walked. That’s our life’s work” (As Sure as the Dawn by Francine Rivers).

I realized last night that my perspective has been completely wrong. I had been feeling discouraged and morose on two issues; my lack of language skills and my seemingly lack of showing the love of the Lord to this family. I had been consumed with thinking that I need to keep my morals. I need to refrain from compromising my standards. I need to reach these people for the Lord. I need to work on my German. I can’t communicate with people effectively. I. I. I. I. Oh, God was in the picture, but He was in the background providing my little safety net.

What foolishness! God is not my puppet and I cannot save these people or change the way they live. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. I need to get out of the way so the Lord can do His work! My responsibility is to run after the Lord full throttle, learning to think and see as He does so that the way I walk will be evidence of His work in my life. Forgive me Lord for thinking I could change them on my own.

I got the girls up and ready for school, then got on the computer. I’m on the computer a lot (facebooking people, emailing, and journaling). I try to be careful not to be on too much when the girls are home, but they like to get online sometimes too or play games. I was talking on facebook to Nate Riese and was trying to get ready before the Manwella (the cleaning lady) came. Just before getting dressed, I heard knocking on the back door. I was still in my pajamas! But I let the Polish worker in. I managed to get dressed before Manwella knocked. I’ve started writing down names of people I meet so I remember them for later (I know I’ll see them again).

I updated my journal and blog, facebooked, drank tea and read in the kitchen while Manwella cleaned upstairs. I boiled a couple eggs and made an egg salad sandwich for lunch, then went to the upstairs sitting area. Thank you Terri Stakston for finding the free LiveMocha online German course for me! I started at the beginners level and reviewed everything. They have video dialog, grammar, vocabulary, reading and role play areas. It is really helpful, gives you the audio for correct pronunciation and exercises to practice, and then quizzes your understanding. There is a writing section where I have to write in German and then submit it and receive feedback from German speakers. I got a “Perfekt”! I’m so thankful to finally have a game plan for learning German! Thank you Terri!

The girls arrived home and watched TV, while we feasted on the desserts we made last night. The girls watch dumb soap operas (Marks words, not mine), but I can’t understand them anyway, so I worked on my Sudoku book. Mark arrived from hunting and then left again and Nancy arrived. They have a revolving door. Helena, Gloria and I taught Nancy phase 10 and then got hungry. I’m never sure how many meals I’m going to eat in a day. Sometimes it’s two, sometimes three.

Nancy and I made spinach spaghetti with a spinach salad. I’m not a huge fan of spinach, but it wasn’t too bad. I had a lot of noodles to kind of off-set the spinach and tomato topping. Helena and I don’t like tomatoes so at least I’m not alone in that area! I know this is off in the future a ways, but I’m looking forward to getting home and eating all the food I really like (real spaghetti with french bread, pringles, and all of the other great meals mom makes), whether it’s healthy or not! They eat so healthy here! I am getting used to it though.

I think Nancy enjoys my company, especially in the kitchen. We work well together and she enjoys teaching me new things or showing me how to prepare new foods I’ve never had before. It’s also a good time for her to teach me German words.

After dinner, they watched a comedian and I talked to Stacey for a few minutes. Then we looked at pictures! Wedding, baby, and pictures of their travels as a family. The girls were wilting, so Nancy sent them to bed and I did likewise. I get to turn the alarm off for tomorrow and just sleep.