Monday, February 21

I did NOT want to get up this morning, but there was no choice. That’s what I get for staying up until midnight three nights in a row. J The girls left for school and I checked email. 

I spent several hours this morning ironing while listening to John Piper and Christian music. One of the Polish workers found me and asked if I could unlock the cellar door. At first I didn’t understand what he wanted to do in the cellar. I started walking in that direction and saw his polish working partner make the motion for keys and then I understood. About that time, the secretary called to tell me when Mark and Nancy would be arriving. I felt important for a few minutes. : )

I finished the ironing and worked on the computer, then ate a quick lunch before heading to the airport. I found the airport without any problems, but I accidentally went into the parking lot first, so I had to figure out how to get out. Then when I went to the spot I had dropped them off, a police man was there so I went on my way. Mark called and said they were getting their baggage and then would be out, so when I circled around again, the police man stopped me this time. He talked and talked and talked and I smiled and smiled and smiled and said OK, thank you and left. I understood enough to get the gist of what he was saying, but as I drove away I said “I have no idea what you just said!” And for most of it I had no idea what he was saying. It was hilarious! I thought about telling him I didn’t understand, but he didn’t stop talking long enough. When I told Mark and Nancy later, they just laughed! Mark told us lots of stories from their three-day trip to Spain while we drove to the school.

By the time we picked the girls up and got back to the house I had a big headache so I took some medicine and layed down for a few minutes. When I got up, it wasn’t gone, but it was better. I sang with the girls for a few minutes before I had to leave for my class.

When I got there, the door was locked so I waited for a few minutes before seeing my teacher in a different room. At first it was just us three girls with the teacher, but then one of the male students arrived. We did a few listening exercises with telephone numbers, then spent a majority of our class time talking about time: how to say what time it is officially, how to write it, how to say it, etc. Most of it was review from high school German, but it was a good review. My teacher also taught us the numbers for the police and fire/ambulance. It was a good class. On the way back to the car, I talked and walked with the lady from Thailand. It was freezing outside!!!

When I got home, Nancy had my dinner all warmed up for me, so I was able to eat right away. I was so hungry I was shaking! After dinner, I ate some ice cream and skyped with one of my best friends and Dad. It was so much fun! 

Sunday, February 20

Last night Helena woke me up around 3am to say the dogs were going crazy and probably needed to be let out so I got up and let them out and then had to wait until all of them came back inside before locking up again and going back to bed.

We got ready for church, ate cereal for breakfast, fed the dogs as fast as we could and then hit the road for for church. Surprisingly, I understood a good majority of the sermon. After church, I had some tea and talked while the girls drew pictures. The girls thought it was boring. 

When we got home, we ate leftovers for lunch and checked on Merlin. After cleanup we sang to High School Musical. While we were singing upstairs, we heard someone downstairs. We were shocked to know someone was in the house with us. We couldn't figure out how they had gotten in! It ended up being Mark's dad, step-mom, and nephew. We ended up playing games, doing homework, and playing the piano. Then Mark's mom and step-dad showed up with an apple dessert so we got coffee and tea ready and got all the “tea sets” out. 

During tea, Mark's dad told the others that I can play the piano, so his step-dad asked me to play for him. If only they knew I can’t really play. J I just play the songs I know.

After cleaning up the tea/coffee/cake dishes, Mark's dad left and I made pancakes for the kids. The girls cousin specifically asked me last we saw each other if I would make pancakes for him when he was at the house next, so I fulfilled my promise. They were a smash! The rest of the guests left and I did round 2 of kitchen clean up before skyping with Stacey and the family for a few minutes.  

MY FRIEND IS ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!! I’m so excited for her! 

The girls watched part of Pirates of the Carribbean 3 and then I sent them off to bed and watched Minority Report. I stayed up way too late, but I couldn’t just leave the movie hanging. Of course, when I finally did want to get to sleep, it eluded me for a while. 

Saturday, February 19

The girls woke up before me this morning. We ate breakfast and then headed out to go grocery shopping. We ended up having to go to three different stores before we found everything on our list, but we had fun while we did it! It was fun to create a meal plan together and get all the groceries needed.

After we got home and put the groceries away, the girls spent a good half hour practicing piano and trumpet. I went back and forth between them helping as much as I could. I had a headache so I laid down until Mark's dad and step-mom arrived. After they left, I got to skype with the family and see Bobby and Kaleb. Dad did a polar plunge this morning with the police department so I got to see pictures. I was also able to get in some pictures with them, even if my face was just on the computer screen. I got to talk to Kody for a few minutes alone, finally! We talked in German with Gloria for a while and then discussed the political situation in Madison. 

For dinner, I made tacos which turned out pretty good, but the girls were distracted by the show “I Carly”. The episode on the TV upstairs was a new one, but wasn’t showing on the TV in the kitchen, so they ate fast and then left.

We ate ice cream and watched the Tooth Fairy. Gloria fell asleep so the girls ended up sleeping on the couch again. J

Thursday, February 17

For devotions today, I read Mark 1. I was amazed at how much the Lord did in one day! He called four fishermen to follow him, preached in the temple and healed a demon-possessed man and Simons mother-in-law and many others. Then later that night, goes out to pray and then starts his journey to the next town. He never wavered from his mission and worked tirelessly to accomplish his goal. What an example of work-ethic!

Wednesday, February 16

This morning Gloria had my water heated for me again when I got downstairs. I could get used to that! J

For devotions this morning I continued listening to John Pipers series Psalms: Thinking and Feeling with God, part 4. Today’s lesson was on Psalm 103 where David blesses the Lord. It was a great reminder of God’s covenant with us and how we “fear the Lord.” Very encouraging!

I spent quite a while polishing silver in the house: silverware, candle holders, etc. It was fun to watch the nasty discoloration disappear! J I’m so easily amused! It was hard work though . . . polishing really works your arm and back muscles.

Mark and Nancy left for Berlin, but Nancy left instructions with me on what to do for dinner: go grocery shopping and get whatever you want! J While Helena was at her voice lesson, Gloria and I went to the store and bought the fixings for hamburgers and a salad. As we were checking out, the cashier asked something I didn’t understand so I looked to Gloria and she answered. When I looked at the cashier again, she was giving me the weirdest look as if she had never seen someone who didn’t understand her. As we were leaving Gloria said she thought the cashier thought I was deaf. It was so funny the way she said it. Being deaf works too. J

When we got back home, the girls went to their little church “class” while I made dinner. After eating, the girls quickly did their homework and then we played several games while listening to Disney music.

As the girls watched the German form of American Idol, I read more of Jurassic Park. After my shower, I looked at pictures of Titus’ funeral. It was very surreal to see his casket and know that he is in it as the men carried it. 

Tuesday, February 16

I woke Gloria up 15 minutes early so she would have time to practice her presentation on bats. We all got ready, but the girls beat me downstairs. When I got down there, they had their lunches made. I went to heat up some water for myself, but found the water was already hot. Gloria was a step ahead of me and had already heated the water for me…such a sweetie! Today she did something I’ve been waiting for her to do…she asked if I would braid her hair for school. She even had a hair tie with her. J

For devotions this morning, John Piper did a sermon on Psalm 51: A Broken and Contrite Heart God Will Not Despise, the third part in his series: Psalms: Thinking and Feeling with God. I was struck anew by the outrageousness that God would not only “pass over” David’s sin, but mine as well! He passes over my sin so that God’s righteousness and divine forbearance might be displayed (Romans 3:25). David’s psalm is about more than his grief over his sin with Bathsheba, it’s about him requesting renewal from God; “he is passionately committed in being changed by God” (Piper). He asks the Lord to have mercy on him and to wash him thoroughly.

“It is fitting that Christians ask God to do this (I John 1:7-9). Christ has purchased our forgiveness. He has paid the full price for it. That does not replace our asking. It is the basis for our asking. It is the reason we are confident that the answer will be yes. So first David looks helpless to the mercy of God. And second, he prays that, in this mercy, God would forgive him and make him clean” (John Piper, A Broken and Contrite Heart God will not Despise, Psalms: Thinking and Feeling with God, part 3).

David acknowledges his sin is against God, that he deserves to be damned and that damnation would be justified (II Samuel 51:3-4). He asks for confirmation of his election.

“In verse 11: ‘Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.’ I [Piper] know some say that Christians who are elect and secure in the sovereign grace of God should not pray like that because it implies you can lose your salvation. I [Piper] don’t think so. When David or I pray, ‘Don’t cast me away, and don’t take your Spirit from me,’ we mean: Don’t treat me as one who is not chosen. Don’t let me prove to be like one of those in Hebrews 6 who have only tasted the Holy Spirit. Don’t let me fall away and show that I was only drawn by the Spirit and not held by the Spirit. Confirm to me, O God, that I am your child and will never fall away.”

Lastly, David prays to be an effective evangelist in verse 13, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.” Coupled with verse 15, “O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise,” David wants to use his brokenness over his sin and his praise for the Lord to reach unbelievers. This is my prayer for today. . . Please open my mouth Lord to declare your praise so others would see a glimpse of You and not me!

I had a quick peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then accompanied Nancy to the mall in Potsdam where we got my passport photos taken so I can stay in Germany longer than 90 days. We spent most of our time in TK Max and then ate at the asian restaurant, but this time Nancy had me order. It went pretty smoothly. 

After the girls got done with homework, we made banana bread. The girls weren’t too sure they would like it when they saw what the dough looked like, but I assured them they would. The banana bread took more than an hour to bake but it turned out perfect! 

Helena really wanted to skype with Meredith, so eventually we got to skype with Devra and the kids. Meredith either heard me or saw me and immediately grabbed the pizza and spoon and fed me more pizza through the computer. When I got full, she started feeding Helena. It was so cute! We asked her for more animal sounds so Helli could hear her and then asked her what a deer says. She said, “bang bang.” I didn’t know she could actually say it. It was hilarious!!

I did a second round of cleaning the kitchen. When I got back to my room there was a stack of clothes on the couch. I thought they were the girls at first, but didn’t recognize them. Nancy came in and said they were clothes that were too small for her so if they fit me I could have them. I love hand-me-downs!

Monday, February 15

Today is Valentine’s Day and Stacey bought me flowers! I know I'm loved. Valentine's Day entered Europe only about three years ago, so it's not really big yet.

As the girls were leaving the house this morning, I said “have a good day. I love you!” Helena turned and said, “I love you too.” Then she quickly tagged on “more!” Then Gloria said it, so we had fun trying to say “I love you….more!” It was such a fun beginning to the morning. Thank you Stacey! J

For devotions this morning, I listened to another sermon online by John Piper on Psalm 42 on Spiritual Depression. His main points were: 1. The Psalmist asks why (v9). 2. The Psalmist affirms God’s sovereign love in the midst of oppression (v. 8, 5, 11, 7). 3. The Psalmist sings a song to God of his life (v. 8). 4. The Psalmist preaches to himself (v. 5-6). 5. The Psalmist remembers past experiences and 6. The Psalmist thirsts for God (v. 1-2). The Psalmist does not plead for relief of his circumstances. It was a wonderful lesson on how I need to speak truth to myself and not just let myself feel like the Lord has forgotten me (v. 9).

I enjoyed playing through some of the hymns from the hymn book the missionaries lent me. It’s good for me to practice my sight-reading. I worked on laundry and then picked up the girls from school. After we got back, I checked and mom and dad still hadn’t called so I called them and actually got them! We got to talk about the funeral and Titus for an hour. I’m not mad at him, I don’t judge him, I don’t ask “why”; I’m simply sad that he’s gone. After composing myself, I went downstairs so Mark could give me a few instructions before they left. As they were leaving, Mark came over and touched my arm and said, “don’t be sad. It’ll get better.” I appreciated that he was trying to comfort me, since I was fighting tears again. 

I ate dinner while I helped Gloria with some English homework. It proved to be a little difficult because I would correct her sentences only to find out that’s how they learned the British English in school. Obviously I don't speak British English.

The girls stayed home alone while I went to my German class. When I entered the room, my teacher said hello and that they missed me last week so I tried to explain in German. I know I botched it, but he got the gist of it. We reviewed verbs from two weeks ago, and then worked on personal pronouns and family descriptions and how to combine all of them. It was a really fun class and the time went by quickly.

When I got home, the girls were watching TV. When I sent them to bed and tucked them in, I spent just a few minutes with each one. As I left each room, I had another contest with the girls on who could say “I love you more” last. It was a very nice end to the evening.

I went back to my room and was finally able to skype a good friend!! 

Sunday, February 13

I was encouraged at church because I could actually understand some of the sermon! I was able to share with the missionaries about Titus and then mention it to the others during prayer request time. There were a couple of new people at church that I hadn’t seen before, so that was also fun. I was able to stay afterward and talk over tea.

When I arrived home, the family was eating breakfast/lunch. They told me they woke up to the dogs barking and found Artus, Arielle, and Merlin fighting. Merlin was bloody and they didn’t know if she was going to make it!

We watched Ice Age 3, then I braided Gloria’s hair and then we headed out to Mark's dad's house for his step-mom's Birthday Tea. Mark's step-dad wanted me to sit next to him so he could speak German with me. I made a valiant attempt at speaking it back, but failed miserably! Thankfully, I can understand some things. We had an apple strudel thing, cherry cake, bread, and cookies. Mark's step-dad and I “shared” a large piece of the cherry cake, but he made me eat most of it. J I helped Gloria play a card game I didn’t quite understand. 

We stopped at Burger King on the way home and Mark quizzed me on music artists. I actually got them right!

When we got home, Mark, Nancy and I ate dinner and tried to figure out a weird movie in TV. I went up to call dad. I got a hold of them as they were in the car driving home. I got to talk to Janna and Dad while mom and Wendy fell asleep. Janna told me about the weekend. Praise the Lord many people heard the Gospel!

Saturday, February 12

I wrote out a list of chores that needed to be done today to get ready for Mark and Nancy’s company. Helena put on the cleaning song for Enchanted and we got to work cleaning the kitchen (after breakfast, which Gloria made for us), getting the dining room set up and peeling potatoes and onions.

I read and took a little nap while I worked through feelings of homesickness and wishing I was with my family at my cousins funeral. Thank you to those who prayed for me this weekend!

When the guests arrived, we stayed long enough to say hello and then the girl and I headed for the mall in Potsdam. Helena was nervous we wouldn’t find it, but we had no problems getting there. Getting back home though proved a little more difficult. We ended up going way out into the country and about 30 minutes out of the way, but we eventually got home. Everything looks different in the dark! We had fun at the mall going to different stores, eating dinner and ice cream, and each of us finding one article of clothing to buy. I finally found some workout shorts! Right before we left, we stopped at the grocery store and picked up some groceries we were out of and Sanella (shortening) for making banana bread. We wanted to make banana bread, but when we got home I realized I didn't have the recipe, so grandma sent it to me.

Friday, February 11

One of my best friends birthday was today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I worked on updating journals and my blog then worked through some verbs and how they change as you conjugate them. There looks like an insurmountable amount of verbs to learn, but I have to start somewhere. Hopefully I’ll get the hang of it.

After the girls got home, we were able to skype Stacey and just have fun talking. Right before she had to leave we said “love you”, but I tacked on “more” then hit the end button. She typed “I heard you.” The girls thought that was so funny!

The sun was shining so I convinced the girls to go on a walk with me. We talked and had fun and when they asked how far we were going to go, I said "to that tree.” There were trees everywhere! I had such a good laugh when the girls just looked at me and asked “which one?” Helena showed me a bench on the edge of a field and was nestled in a few trees. About that time Lissy went poop. The girls and I tried several tries to get a good picture. After that, I looked down to find Lissy had pooped on my shoe! The girls laughed so hard. When we got back to the house, we were cold and the girls wanted to play Solitaire. As I was collecting my study materials, I stepped in a wet spot on the rug in my socks and then remembered Lissy had peed on the carpet. Oh the joys of having dogs. :) So I did a load of my laundry.

For dinner, we made spaghetti. The onions were extremely potent and had all of us either crying or experiencing stinging eyes. After dinner clean up, we played Rummy in the dining room while listening to Disney songs and eating Reeses peanut butter cups. Helena loves the cleaning song from Enchanted!

Thursday, February 10

I’ve been very good about getting ready with the girls in the morning and being productive in the dining room after they leave for school. Devra couldn’t sleep so she was on facebook. It’s amazing how the Lord works! When I feel the need to talk to someone from home, he either wakes someone up or someone is already on. 

I also got to talk to a friend. He challenged me to memorize Ephesians chapter 1 in its entirety. So I wrote out the verses on notecards and put them in my purse so I can practice them when we’re out and about and I get bored.

Mark and Nancy were out working so I had the house to myself. I spent some solid time studying my Bible. Wendy had mentioned John Piper had some sermons online regarding suicide so I read through two of them and listened to the third. One of them talked about sin and how suicide is simply another sin. It is not unforgivable. There is only one unforgivable sin and that’s blaspheming the Holy Spirit by continually and willfully pushing Him away. One of the sermons used various Biblical characters to show that Christians throughout history have had moments of weakness when they looked on suicide with favor. Paul was the chiefest of sinners and yet God redeemed him and used him. Why did He let Paul travel the road of destruction for so long before changing him? To show His great patience He has toward sinners. Praise the Lord for His patience! The third sermon used the text of Lazarus’ death. The passage says Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary and Martha and yet, when He heard Lazarus was ill, he stayed where He was two more days. Jesus COULD have arrived and saved him from experiencing death. Instead, He allowed Lazarus to experience the joys of Heaven before stealing him back to earth to experience temptations, sin, and death again. God’s ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts. So I choose to trust that He has an ultimate plan in allowing Titus to take his own life. He COULD have done several things to stop him, but He didn’t. And so now we mourn the loss of a son, brother, cousin, nephew, and friend. Yet we mourn not as those without hope…Titus showed fruit of his salvation, so I can have confidence that he is kneeling before the Lord of Hosts shouting at the top of his lungs. . . “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty.” How awesome would that be, to participate in such a continually joyous, lifelong celebration of God, but also to hear the multitudes praising the Lord with one voice!!!

Mom and I tried skyping before she left for work, but their computer was acting up, so I ended up calling her and talking over the whole week. I could have talked with her for another hour, but she had to get going. She did say though that she talked to a friend last night who said she was praying for me. Mom said many people have told her they are praying for ME! I know now why I have been able to deal with this like I have…I’ve had so many people praying for me. 

I some time ironing and skyping Devra and Meredith. It was so much fun! Meredith was chattering away and talking about pizza and staying with friends this weekend. I asked if she would make me some pizza at her little kitchen. She brought over a plate with pizza and a spoon and wanted to feed me bites of the pizza. I opened my mouth and got close to the camera. Devra said she was actually putting it “in” my mouth and not up to the camera. After almost every bite she would ask “is it yummy?” in her little “baby” talk. Gloria came in and together we asked her what animals made what sounds. Gloria thought she was so cute! Meredith even said Gloria’s name….such a cutie!

I took the girls to music lessons and sat in with Gloria during her trumpet lesson. While there I started memorizing Ephesians 1. After lessons, we stopped by the library and I got a new book. I felt pretty confident as I went around, paying for parking, etc. If only I could speak better German. It’s so difficult for me to remember vocabulary words, but once I hear them I know what they mean.

The girls wanted pancakes for dinner, so we mixed up a batch. I think this batch turned out the best. It was super good!

Mark couldn't go to the gym tonight, however, he called the neighbor and asked if I could ride with him. I asked Mark if it was okay for me to be alone with him. He said not to worry, Guito wouldn’t hurt me. I told him I wasn’t worried about that. Mark thought for a couple of minutes and then asked “oh you mean because of his wife?” I said “well, yeah his wife, but anyone really. I don’t want to give wrong/bad impressions.” Mark said not to worry, so I trusted him. I had rehearsed some German phrases to say to him, but they fell to pieces when we were in the car. We were the first ones at the gym. There were people there tonight that I’d never seen before, so it was fun to have such a large group. I was also thankful that the lady who speaks English was there. I was praying she would be since Mark wasn’t there to help me understand some of the games.

We ran laps, stretched, did some sprinting and jumping exercises, then played Frisbee. I’m so thankful my leg was feeling good so I was able to play all the games and have fun. We played dodge ball, a weird form of volleyball where you actually let the ball bounce before hitting it, and then broke into two groups. One group played street basketball while the other side did jumping, and a little “obstacle course” (for lack of a better description….I had the fastest time). When my team played basketball, it was three against four. I was with two other guys. We totally creamed the four-player team. It was so fun to play again and make baskets!

When we arrived back at the house, the Egyptian President was about to make his address to the nation. One million people were in the plaza to hear him say he was sorry, but he’s not stepping down. We'll see what happens now.

I finally got to talk to Dad tonight for about 40 minutes. Dad said the Goodews had mentioned they knew it must be hard for me to be so far away and they knew I wanted to be with them but couldn’t. I just couldn’t believe that even at a time like this, they would think of me. I was very humbled by that knowledge!

I checked my email before I took a shower and headed to bed. Aunt Becki had facebooked me to let me know she was praying for me as I was so far away. . . another reminder that no one has forgotten me. I am definitely loved!

Wednesday, February 9

For devotions, I did a study on “Hope” with suicide in mind. The hope the believer has in the Lord. I was reminded that there is no excuse for a believer to commit suicide. It is a sin but it does not make their salvation null and void. Praise the Lord for that! 

I studied German grammar for a while, cleaning up the kitchen and vacuumed. Nancy had some visitors around lunch time so I said hello and then went to my room. I got extremely hungry and was thankful when they left so I could eat lunch and finished cleaning.

I took Helli to her voice lessons. I was able to help a little bit with correct pronunciations of English words while I studied some vocabulary words. Right before we left, her teacher asked me something about German and I kind of just shrugged and gave a half-hearted ‘ja’. As we left the building, I asked Helli what he asked. She thought it was funny that I answered when I didn’t even know what he had asked. My response was appropriate for his question.

On our way home, we stopped to get some special sandwiches at a Turkish little restaurant, then stopped by the post office to mail my postcards. I wanted to find a different brush so we stopped by the Dollar Store and found one along with pink post-it notes. After eating with Nancy, I walked some glass bottles to the recycle dumpsters/containers. I spent some time labeling several things in my room with their German words. If I don’t consistently and constantly go over German words, I don’t remember them, so I’ve started labeling everything. Before I know it, my entire room will be pink. Gloria thought it was so funny that I was labeling everything. 

Tuesday, February 8

After getting ready with the girls this morning, I set up my little classroom in the dining room so I could study after the girls left. Unfortunately, the internet is not working properly again so I’ll only be able to review what I’ve already written down, which is probably good because I need to learn and memorize what I already have on my papers rather than just adding to it. 

I woke up this morning thanking the Lord for another day, but incredibly sad at the loss of Titus. I’m still reeling from the fact it was a suicide! It was good to be able to talk to a cousin about Titus’ death. 

Talking with Janna last night, she asked me what the spiritual implications were for someone who commits suicide. I told her we are to place our hope in Christ. This morning I spent a good hour studying “Hope” with suicide in mind. 

I spent most of the day doing various German studies, trying to learn how to make words plural. Grammar is so hard to understand, but I think it’s even harder for me because I was always bad at English grammar, so German grammar is proving to be even more difficult! 

For dinner, we made mini hamburgers with onions and some herbs mixed in with the meat, mushrooms and potatoes. Somehow the girls and I got on the subject of thinking of adjectives to describe each other. At first they were negative, so I made the girls think of positive adjectives. We laughed and just kept eating, so by the time we cleaned up, I was stuffed. The girls put their dishes in the dishwasher and while Helena took a shower, Gloria dried the dishes as I washed. It was fun! The girls said I made good pancakes and other baking goodies. 

After dinner we played rummy, I started gathering pictures for my presentation at the school.

I had to work through new emotions tonight. I'm so thankful the Lord is Sovereign!

Monday, February 7

Today I kept busy working on laundry, making chicken soup, and taking a nap.  

At about 2 o'clock this afternoon I received an email from my mom telling me that my cousin had died. To make the shock even more complete, the email said it was not an accident; he had killed himself. At that point, I quickly called my mom who was at the hospital with my grandma.



I had talked to my cousin just a couple of days ago on facebook!

I think I scared the cleaning lady when she came to tell me she was leaving. I was in my room sobbing! I tried to explain to her why I was crying. She was the only other person there and because I couldn’t stop crying, she came over and gave me a hug. I figured she would call Nancy after she left and I was right because when I called her later to tell her I wouldn’t be going to my German class tonight, she had already heard my cousin had died.

I cried all the way to the school, tried not to cry as I picked the girls up, and cried all the way back to the house. The girls were so sensitive and were quiet in the car and left me alone for a while at the house. Gloria especially seemed to be sensitive to my needs.

I think my cousin's death is even more difficult to deal with because it was a suicide. I never thought MY family would have to deal with suicide. And here it is staring us in the face. I can’t imagine what the Goodews are going through. All of us are still in shock and having to come to terms with the face it was a suicide. I am fairly confidence that he was a believer, so I find comfort in knowing he is with the Lord right now but the shock of his death is still settling in. I am devastated for the Goodews and for myself. It is so difficult to understand WHY he would kill himself. There were no hints that I know of that would have suggested he was contemplating suicide. He had just bought a house, was enjoying work, and was in great shape physically. He seemed to be making strides in his spiritual walk with the Lord as well.

I was able to talk to all the girls today and make sure they knew I loved them. I talked to Stacey first through skype chat, then Devra and the kids, and finally Wendy and Janna together on skype. All of us were still in disbelief. Dad drove up to be with the family.

As far as I know, grandma’s surgery went well today and her pancreatic biopsy came back with benign results, so Praise the Lord!

The weather has been cloudy, drizzly/rainy, and windy for close to two weeks, but today, on the day I received such sad news, the sun was shining bright! So while I was grieving, I was able to give thanks to the Lord. It's amazing how God works!

The girls and I ate chicken soup and toast for dinner and played Rummy. When Mark and Nancy arrived home, Nancy gave me a hug and I filled them in on the details I knew. They were very sympathetic and thankfully gave me space tonight so I could talk with the girls and work through the emotions of grieving.

I finally went to bed just after 9pm. Three late nights and lots of crying made me totally exhausted!

Please pray for my family! It is difficult to be away from right there, so please pray for me as well as I work through my emotions. Thank God for the internet so I can be updated often!

Sunday, February 6

The weather continues to be rainy, overcast, and windy. Thankfully today was slightly warmer than yesterday.

This morning I took my computer with me in the car so I could listen to Christian music and worship the Lord as I drove to church. It was my first time going by memory and not using the GPS, but I found it with no problems. The pregnant lady at church had her baby two weeks ago tomorrow. It was so much fun to see such a small baby again. He’s so cute! The sermon was over Genesis 1 and the 6 days of creation. I couldn’t stay for coffee/tea today because I knew my German family wanted to do something this afternoon and I had to get home. As I was pulling into the driveway, I saw in front of me the a family I met at the birthday party Friday night. It was so fun to recognize townspeople. They saw me and waved.

Before we left for Berlin, we ate a light lunch: bread with various toppings. Mark also made milkshakes for us. Their idea of a milkshake is actually a glass of milk with blended fruit in it. There isn’t any ice cream in it. 

We went to a little museum where popular wax figures are on display: politicians, musicians, important figures in history, celebrities, etc. We got pictures with the German Chancellor, the pope, President Obama, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and many more. There was one figure that was in a case so you couldn’t touch it: Hitler. I guess at first, the figure was not protected and when people went by him they hit him enough times to knock his head off. There was a sign next to him that asked people not to even take pictures of him! Every other statue you could interact with, touch, etc. There was one section where they described the process of making wax figures. I wasn’t able to learn the whole process, but it takes a long time to make one. Tattoos are hand painted; each hair is human and is actually washed periodically. No pair of eyes is the same. It’s amazing! In the gift shop, I was able to find some postcards I liked for a reasonable price so I bought ten along with stamps for about 12 Euros.

We met Mark's brother and kids for dinner, then went to the Kino (movie theater) because Mark wanted to watch an African documentary. However, there weren’t enough seats available so we ended up going a famous coffee shop and having dessert and coffee. I was still full from dinner so I just tasted everyone’s dessert and drank water. Helena had fun using a rolled-up napkin as a microphone to “interview” me. It was pretty funny!

On the way back to the house I actually fell asleep, which was good because Mark and I stayed up late watching the Super Bowl! I got to skype Josh and talk to him for a while about fluff stuff. It was so nice to just laugh!

The Super Bowl didn’t start until just after midnight, but it was so much fun to watch American football and cheer on the Green Bay Packers! I only lasted until half time. At that point, I quick called my mom to chat about the game and ended up talking to two uncles, an aunt, and my grandparents for a few minutes. It was so much fun and was another reminder of just how many people are praying for me!

Saturday, February 5

I had such a productive morning! I got caught up on all my journals and listened to some great Christian music! 

We ate “breakfast” together around 1:30. At one point I walked behind Mark with a mug of hot green tea. I guess he didn’t see me and he backed up, right into my cup, spilling it all down my shirt. It was hilarious! Mark blamed it on me being a ghost because I move quietly. 

I got to talk to dad this afternoon for almost an hour. I was able to talk with him about my spiritual struggles and realizations as I read Scripture to convict me of my sin. It was so wonderful to talk to him about Spiritual things!!! 

Mark's stepdad asked how long I’ve been here. At first I said three months. When he heard that he made a comment about me being here for that long and still not knowing German very well. At first that kind of hurt my feelings and made me feel guilty for not trying harder to learn the language. This morning I had found an excellent free website that teaches German grammar. I think once I understand that and learn more words I’ll be able to form more sentences and understand better. So after talking with him for a few minutes, I went upstairs and took some more notes. I’ve decided that, starting Monday, I will get ready for the day with the girls, take my computer to the dining room and study German for two hours each morning. I am determined to learn this language!

Friday, February 4

After getting ready, I caught up on facebook posts and messages. A friend said he led a study on Hebrews 4 at his church. I couldn’t remember what Hebrews 4 talked about, so I took a moment to read it. It was exactly what I needed to be smacked in the face. That chapter talks about entering into the Lord’s rest. 

It was incredibly windy today! Nancy, the girls and I dropped off some papers at one of their secretaries offices and then went to the orthodontist where the girls had appointments to see if they would need braces or a retainer. We then went to lunch at subway…Helena and I shared a foot long sub and surprisingly, we wanted just about the same stuff on it. 

I was in my bedroom when Mark asked me to go downstairs. He sounded so ominous so I said “uh oh, what did I do?” He laughed and produced a letter from Grandma Simpson!!! I was so excited! It was so nice to get a letter, especially since I’ve been battling homesickness the last few days. Another God moment!

I took a mug of hot water and all the wrapping things downstairs so I could wrap a birthday gift for tonight, but had to go back up to get the tape. When I got back downstairs, I saw Lissy (the dog) was by the presents. I had the distinct feeling she had been drinking my water, which was on the floor. Just to be careful, I got new water!

I did the girls hair before we left for the birthday party. When we arrived, there were already a bunch of people there. Most were young couples from the town. As Nancy and I put our coats down, I mentioned that I didn’t know anyone. “Everyone knows you” was her response. At first I felt very awkward. Everyone was talking faster than I could absorb and understand, so I plastered a smile on my face. Mark, Nancy and I were given drinks…orange juice for me. It’s so nice to have everyone know I don’t drink. J 

I spent the majority of the evening with the kids. I ran back to the house to get rummy so they could play. We played the neighbor girls' guitar, danced and twirled together, and a game where I caught the kids and spun them around. The little neighbor boy loved that game! He was so light it was so easy to catch him. We then talked about special “freund/freundin”. I was surprised the kids were so open about how many boy/girlfriends they have and who they are. The little neighbor boy has four and one of them is me! J He’s so cute. 

We played a game of pool, three against three then started Toy Story II. I was exhausted! 

Thursday, February 3

Today was laundry day! 

I was so excited when the girls started picking up a new word from me: stink! J 

For lunch the girls ate left over pizza and I made a grilled cheese sandwich. Shortly after cleaning the kitchen, we made sugar cookies, which was a lot of fun! It ended up taking a lot more butter than I thought until the dough would actually stick together so we could roll it into little balls. I figured out the oven and they turned out really good, although maybe a little too crispy on the top. I think I accidentally turned on the top burner instead of the bottom. 

Wednesday, February 2

We drove to the beach again where we met up with friends again. While we were walking, we came across a playground that looked like a ship graveyard. It was so much fun! Helli and I climbed to the crows nest. I wanted to play more and thought Simon would enjoy playing, but the moms were calling us. 

We went to a café for hot chocolate and tea before saying goodbye. It took about three hours to reach Berlin. I read as long as the light lasted. For dinner, we went to Mark’s stomping grounds to a pizza place just around the corner from his mom’s house.

When we got home I unpacked and quickly checked my email and facebook to catch up on news from home. It was so nice to have so many notes waiting for me! It worked out perfectly to skype mom and dad so I got to tell them about the weekend. Nancy came in and was able to update them with real facts on what’s happening in Egypt. 

Tuesday, February 1

World update: There are one million people demonstrating in Egypt now. The President says the whole country can burn; he’s not leaving, although he sent his kids and wife to France and England with suitcases of money. The President himself isn't even in the country! He’s on some island on vacation while his country is in chaos.

I read this morning while the kids watched cartoons. It is so weird seeing cartoons I know in German. After breakfast we played rummy for a while and then Uno. I lost every hand.

We packed our swimsuits and left for a little indoor waterpark, complete with a slide that went outside before going back inside. We had to hike up a lot of stairs before getting to the mouth of the slide, but it was definitely fun! I had fun going behind the girls and calling out to them that I was going to catch them. They got freaked out and tried to go faster, but most times I caught them. J

I got my first taste of real Germany/Europe. The changing rooms weren’t separated for men and women, but thankfully there were changing rooms I could use. We swam and went in the outside pool for a few minutes, went down the slide several times, swam in the salt water pool (Roman style), ate chicken nuggets, French fries, and ice cream, read, and played with a ball. I took a little nap. 

We drove to a hotel where we met some friends from Berlin. We had the first round of drinks at their hotel. I had orange juice, then we walked to the restaurant which was built in the 1530’s and was a place for skippers to eat when their ships were in port. Ther were old mini ships hanging from the ceiling. It was really cool! I didn’t really know what I ordered, but it ended up being a meat wrap and gravy with mushrooms and some potato thing. It was good and extremely filling.

Monday, January 31

Today we went to Lubeck and walked around shops. Lubeck has a very old section of town that was originally like an island. Years ago, the only way to enter the old section was to go through a gate, but today there are roads you can drive on. Some of the brick buildings originated in the 1300’s. Lubeck is famous for its matzepan, a type of sweet. 

Lunch was at an outdoor market next to an ice rink. The pigeons were huge in this market! They get fed all the time by people like us, who eat and throw them crumbs.

We walked in and out of shops for hours. Mark met with a friend at a café. Since I couldn’t understand most of the conversation, I watched people out the window and recited verses in my head. I also had major hat hair.

I got the hiccups while we were looking for a jacket for Simon. The girls cracked up at how loud they were. Eating some ice cream took them away thankfully. Helena said if you get the hiccup that means someone is thinking about you. I guess a lot of people were thinking of me at that moment!

Sunday, January 30

After getting ready for the day, I spent some time reading my Bible (II Peter), studying the time, date, occasion for writing the letter, and the themes of the book. 

Helena wanted to read and then we watched the news: Protests continue in Egypt. 34 Muslin Brotherhood prisoners were released and bussed into wealthy sections of town to go do their crime (Nancy thinks it’s the presidents way of giving the people something else to think about rather than trying to oust him from office). The military is in control at the present moment, but the internet has been shut down along with the phones, at least 100 have been killed, and there is widespread looting. The country is in chaos.

I played Cranium with the girls and the sister of a friend of Simon’s from kindergarten. The kids played with play dough, I read, and then we played rummy and uno with Olie. It was a quiet day spent at the house, but it was nice down time. 

Saturday, January 29

This morning the girls came in while I was just lying in my sleeping bag. It was the first time since I arrived that they woke up before I did. They came in with fake guns and pretended to shoot me while I pretended to die. It set a good precedence for the day. We ate breakfast all together around the table which consisted of bread and jam with a variety of meats, and a croissant with chocolate inside. It was really good! 

We left the house for the beach where we walked along the Baltic Sea beach. We stepped in the water, threw ice, played tag, took pictures and enjoyed the cool, but calm and quiet atmosphere of God’s creation. As we walked through and between little stores, Helena and I talked about how she will help me with studying/practicing German. We walked with arms around each other as we talked, laughed, and she tried to explain “her” language (she made one up). The girls and I danced (twirling) while we waiting for the women as they shopped. 

Norway was just over 100 km away while New York was over 6000 km away. We ate dinner at a seafood restaurant, eating muscles for appetizers (which was actually pretty good), fish and potatoes for the main course. The fish there is very fresh and didn’t have a strong fish taste, so it was really good. 

After dinner, we walked round the little harbor looking at the small fishing vessels. It was much colder, but we watched the seagulls and once again I enjoyed the quietness of the little harbor. It was so peaceful as the fog rolled in. 

Back at the house, we ate ice cream and the adults talked about going to see a movie. While the parents were gone, I read while the kids played. When they got back, we drank some bubbled apple juice that naturally had about 4% alcohol. It tasted very good because you couldn’t taste the alcohol. J I showered, read, and went to bed.

Random thought:

Houses here are made out of red brick because of salt in the air from the sea. The town is known for its clean, cleansing air. Nancy said many sick people come here.

Friday, January 28

Today the girls went to school for a half day. While they were gone, Mark, Nancy and I packed for our little trip up north. I tried to get the ironing done so I wouldn’t have to worry about it when I got back and so everyone could finish packing.

On our way out of town, we dropped Mark’s car off at the inspection center (every car has to be inspected every two years). My muscle was hurting constantly when I walked so I was very sluggish. I also noticed a large bruise on the side of my right knee. To top it all off, one of my fingers was swollen and painful.

We arrived at Olie, Newien, and Simon’s house after dark. Newien had made a noodle and chicken dinner. I watched National Geographic World videos with the kids. After the kids went to bed, I bumped my finger and realized the pain was much worse (to put it lightly). I asked Mark if he knew what would cause the swelling and he figured I had somehow gotten an infection under the skin. He had me soak my finger in warm soap water for about half an hour, then pull the skin away from my nail. When that happened, a ball of white junk came out, proving it was indeed an infection. I soaked it for a few more minutes, then let it dry out. 

Thursday, January 27

This morning the girls got dressed in their school carnival outfits. Helena was a pirate and Gloria was a hippie, complete with a huge green afro. They both looked great! Nancy and I got ready and then headed to the school ourselves to get in on some of the fun. All the teachers were dressed up with the kids. There were some teachers who did special things with kids. For example, one teacher was Snow White and she had seven of the kids dress as her dwarfs. I saw belly dancers, pirates, police, clowns, hippies, techno/punk kids, princesses, cowboys, witches, etc. They had a little school rally where they performed a dance everyone learned. Then everyone went to their classrooms or to different classrooms. Almost every class had a special game or decorations or face painting they did. Helena’s class did a scary room. I never gained entrance because kids kept cutting me in line. I eventually gave up.

Gloria won the best costume award and 10 euros to the bookstore. She got her picture taken and a little blip in the school newspaper. Nancy was so proud of her! Before we left, Nancy talked to Helena’s English teacher. They will figure out a day for me to spend an hour in Helena’s English class describing life in America and letting the kids ask questions or practice their English with me. It will be a little different though because they learn British English in their schools.

The girls got out of school early so after picking them up I took a nap, ironed, and ate dinner before we headed to music lessons. While the girls were in their lessons, Nancy and I went to the library where I checked out two books this time. After lessons, Helena had a doctors appointment and then Nancy and Gloria had eye appointments. They finished with their appointments just after 7pm at which time we ran back to the car and drove back to the house so I could quick change and head to the gym with Mark and the neighbor who were patiently waiting for me. 

We warmed up by doing different dribbling exercises with basketballs, played Frisbee and did the different track and field stations. While playing Frisbee, I ran after the Frisbee at the same time one of my teammates did. I couldn’t stop in time to avoid the collision, so we ended up doing a little hug/dance before we got our balance back. I’m not sure what people said about it because I couldn’t understand, but I felt horribly embarrassed! Unfortunately, my already sore muscle got 10 times worse when I pulled it again while warming up so I was a lousy teammate when we played handball and I sat out when we played basketball. I don’t really know who was more bummed about that, me or Mark and the neighbor. The three of us were finally on the same team so I know the guys were disappointed when we couldn’t kick the other teams butt in basketball.